i hate you, washington county

Fuck you, Washington County. You take a ridiculous amount of time to drive to, everything in you is decorated with Jesus stickers, you smoke way too much meth, you beat your kids, and you ding my fucking car with your gigantic SUVs and toss it out of alignment!!!

Not cool, Washington County. Not. Cool.



Also, though this site isn't really interesting enough to merit a sidebar link, I can't stop watching these kids.

some sort of new content. whatever.

I'm finding that the longer it takes for me to put a new post up in this damn thing, the harder it gets to write. Each new draft becomes more and more unreadable. Every new idea is dumb and un-showable to others, which in itself is a pretty idiotic concept since I'm pretty sure that very few read this blog anymore. I give up on interesting readablity right.... now.

Some events from the last two months:

• Adjustment to The New Job is pretty much traumatic. By the time holidays roll around, I feel more on an even keel.
• Thanksgiving (yum).
• I become addicted to watching scifi-TV-shows-that-shall-remain-nameless-for-now, episode after episode, on my roommate's computer, scaring him completely.
• My mother goes to Korea, returns, sends hilarious packages.
• I spend Christmas in a gigantic, satisfying, sulk. I am stuck in Portland for the holidays.
• My parents tell me my younger sister has shaved her head as a proclamation of her "Freshman at a Liberal Arts College" status. "It's so cute!" my mom says, "Her head looks just like a little chestnut!" I am very sorry I do not witness this.
• I realize I should never live alone because every sound after midnight is completely terrifying.
• New Year's is fun but not scary-fun, which is excellent even if it is a boring non-story.
• Various knitting projects are started, progressed upon, completed. Pictures in the near future.
• I discover hate commuting. I hate commuting with the very fiber of my soul.
• I go to Iowa over the MLK weekend. Did you know Des Moines was once a mafia hideout-stop-kind of place? Neither did I.
• I score some cool stuff from my parents. Like pickles and designer dresses.

I guess that brings us up to date, mostly. Next time: a real entry.

a busy day off

Got my first grown-up paycheck yesterday. Day off today. Veteran's Day. Had coffee in a nice place, read the NYTimes and made myself rather upset over various news pieces. Made an appointment at a salon. Went to Nordstroms, bought socks, looked for nice underwear (nothing to be found that was both in my tastes and in my price range). Bought a bra on sale in the mall. Had brows done. Nearly killed small child chanting "I need to pee I need to pee" while his mother ignored him. Should have shaken mother instead (Can't you hear? Your son needs to pee!) Went to vintage shop to look for a coat or shoes. Unsucessful. Everything is too big. Rained upon in transit. Went to Reed to pick up Ira Glass tickets. Avoided eye contact and ate a yucky brownie. Stopped by Stumptown and bought a pound of coffee. Note to self: New Seasons sells Stumptown cheaper than Stumptown. Went to Buffalo Exchange to look for coat or shoes. No shoes (never in my size). Found a wool blazer (brown/white herringbone) that fits perfectly but does not match well with my mostly black winter wardrobe. Bought it anyway. Head hurts. Now I need to pee. Go frantically from store to store looking for bathroom. Finally find relief. Look at jewelry for hippies. Wish for earring rack. Head still hurts. Go home. Make sandwich. Resolve to clean house.... tomorrow. Enjoy quiet evening. Sit in front of the computer, and here I am.

obligitory informative post so i can move on to writing about other things

YES

• I have a new job.
• I could tell you what I think I will be doing, but I actually have very little clue as to what I will actually be doing.
• I will post about it, once it has started and everything is 100% clear that I really do have said job. I do not wish to jinx myself over the internet again.
• It is better than my job at the fabric store.
• I am very glad to be leaving the fabric store. However, I am not glad to have days that start before 10am.

NO

• I have not started yet. I start next Monday.
• I would post a link to the job description, but it also has my pay scale and I don't want everyone knowing and asking me about that.
• It is not a secret job. If you ask me, I will tell you. I just don't want to jinx myself over the internet.
• I am not excited. I am terrified of actually having a real job and actually being a grownup with a business card and a desk.

Is everything clear now? Good. Now can you stop asking me about this in person? Talking about The New Job makes me feel weird and embarrassed (though I am a little bit excited) so I'd like to stop talking about it until I am actually working in The New Job. I'm glad to have it. I'm glad you're glad that I have it. Hooray. I feel very uncool talking about my dorky online journals at parties. Stop making me look like a dork. I will sink through the floor in embarrassment. I will secretly hate you if you insist on this behavior. I will begin to tell the story about that time you were drunk and lit yourself on fire/wet the bed/fell asleep in class/made out with someone horrible/had pinkeye that was hilarious-looking. Don't try to stop me!

Unless we're talking about the Earless Wonder Future Cat, of course. How does Pneu protect her little ear-holes from filling up with Portland rain?

earless wonder

This is Pneu. She is from the future, where cats have no ears and glow. Many thanks to Ariana, for sending me a picture of her lovely cat.

the things that stand out

So many exciting things happened to me yesterday that were pretty important, or at least interesting, I'm having a hard time processing it all. Only one thing sticks out in my brain for me to share at this very moment:

I saw a cat with no ears.

Just little kitty earholes. The cat is owned by a friend of mine from work, and it is very lovely and friendly and well-cared for, etc., etc. It also has no ears. Pneu (the kitty) is very aerodynamic, almost futuristic looking. I have never wished so much to have a picture of an animal. No ears!


(I also got a new job. More about that later. )

the literate breakroom

I used to think that there were three kinds of literature that live in the Mill End breakroom. Those with the word "country" in the title (ahem, Country Home, Country Living, and Country Cottage come immediately to mind), The National Enquirer, and miscelanious others that pre-date 1995. I used to think that the Mill End breakroom was where bad magazines went to die, but not without being read from cover to cover by sorry souls like me-- who, given the opportunity, really would like to learn how to make a dust ruffle from your cat's hairballs and definitely would want to see how the stars look without their makeup rather than converse with whichever Crazy Old Woman is also occupying their space.

I was wrong.

Today I discovered the breakroom's enormous stash of Harlequin Romances. I have never seen so much girl porn in my life. They all sit, dilapidated and clearly read many times, on the back table where the older women put their coats and thermoses. I laughed out loud when I finally noticed them. So that's what everyone's been reading instead of this god-awful ten year old National Geographic. The Bride and the Cowboy.

I'm not sure if I'm deeply pleased by this or if I've just lost my will to live.