ai yi yi

So... This post was going to be about many things.

The visit of Max and Dottie. The moving in and moving out of many dear friends. The first few days of my job. My constant, incessant phone-shyness. My search for a new home. The freaky little bugs inside my home. Other witty and interesting things.

But no.

This entry will be about mono. That is, mononucleosis. That is, that disease you get that makes you tired and unable to eat solid food and there is nothing you can do about it but live with it for many many weeks. That is, the thing that I have.

I discovered this today. The nice nurse at the ER told me. She also gave me a popsickle and a warm blanket. Too bad I have no insurance and it's going to cost me my firstborn. Good thing is... I can still work and feel miserable!

Ugh. Mono is doing tragic things to my brain and I can't remember or care about stuff and I feel weepy at the slightest drop of a hat. Please be nice to me. I will write more often when I am feeling not god-fucking-awful.

hired!

The fabric store hired me pretty much right away in my interview today and I start tomorrow. The fact that they were so eager to hire me makes me a little nervous. I smell the stink of desperation, and it is not a yummy smell. I think my interview with the law firm this morning went pretty okay, but I was nervous and stuttery and I realize that it will be a few days until they get in contact with me. Or tomorrow, really. They said they would be doing the second round of interviews Friday and Monday so I said to the fabric store people that I can't work then due to other engagements and hopefully I haven't tipped my hand... Doubtful. I also fear working with older crafty women and actually getting up and being somewhere in the morning.

The big news in the last paragraph is now because I have something it means I can pay for stuff and buy things and stop quietly freaking out about going broke and going back to Iowa . I can now look for a place to live in town before my sublet runs out at the end of the month (Hey, do you know anyone who wants to live with me?). I can stay in Portland (good). I don't have to go back to Iowa with my tail between my legs (better).

Whew.

when it rains, it pours

Whoa! My phone has been ringing off the hook in the past hour since my last post. I have interviews. Plural. Tomorrow. Law firm and fabric store. Holy crap.

phone shy 3: the land of non-answers

Called both the law firm and the science museum this morning. The man at the law firm (Doug, if I recall) has given me kind of a curt answer, the head of Human Resources is looking at the applications right now he doesn't know which applications are in but if she has mine I'll know they'll call me before the end of the week. Click. Gee, thanks Doug. I guess he's not a morning person. The science museum... the science museum actually didn't answer my phone call. Though it is open right now, and someone should be answering the damn phone, they clearly need more people working there. I'll call them later this afternoon. Frustration. There is something about getting non-answers from people that just garners resentment from me. Yes or no! Pick up the damn phone! Look up my name! It. Is. Not. That. Hard. I feel yanked around, toyed with. I still have to beg them for jobs/money/benefits. Sigh. Pride is a deadly sin, I guess.

At least there is still the fabric store. Of course, they haven't spoken to me on the phone yet.

hoofing it at the craft warehouse

On the tip of a friend, I applied today at the Mill End Store, and discovered yet another store where I could work and also spend all of my money. I'm glad I didn't bring my wallet. Dear lord, it had to be the biggest fabric store I have ever set foot in (which speaks to my fabric store experience? maybe?), and I had to walk around and browse for two hours to just take it all in. Yarns and notions and fabrics, oh my! I was overly excited by interesting quilts and am now hatching a plan to make myself a purple velveteen coat. Yes. Like out of Willy Wonka. I swear, I'm a crafty old lady trapped in a twenty-two year old's body.

The store itself, though huge, is pretty warehouse-y with weird lighting. I think working there would require a lot of standing and waiting-- not sure if I'm very excited about that. The tip of the friend says that it is actually not very fun to work there (she works there herself), so not fun that many people just quit-- that's why they're hiring. Hm. Well, I have no pride and even less money, so warehouses be damned. I hope I get an interview with them.

eggplants like wow

It's hot today. I feel compelled to do little but sit in my room with a hot computer in my lap thinking about yesterday's food victories instead of actually cooking or eating anything that's not mostly ice. This is good because 1) my kitchen is dirty and full of ants and I don't want to clean up my housemate's messes again and 2) I've been going through quite the cooking spurt lately, which has been a little embarassingly obsessive, and it's good that I take a break and write down what I've been doing.

So the other day I went to the Lebanese grocery store with my very fun friends Margaret and Jake on a trip to look at interesting birthday presents for Margaret's boyfriend. While they went off ogling the many olives and candy and hookahs the store had to offer, I was drawn in by the tiny egg-sized eggplants in the produce aisle. They were very cute, light purple and not as intimidating-looking as their bigger cousins. I had to know how to eat them, even if I'm not actually a fan of eggplants (I've had to suffer through the Korean version of eggplant which is so indescribably yucky and full of soy sauce that it's bound to scar anyone for life), they were too cute to pass up. And cheap. So I asked the nice Lebanese woman (I guess?) at the counter how to prepare them, and this is what she told me, or at least, this is my interpretation of what she told me:

Eggplants Like Wow

You'll need: tiny eggplants (about 4 to a serving), some ground meat, about half an onion to every pound of ground meat, cumin, ginger, cinnamon, tomatoes

• take the tiny eggplants and peel them, coat them with olive oil and bake them in the oven (I guessed at about 350) until they're golden brown
• meanwhile, fry up some ground meat of some sort (I used ground turkey) with some onion and spices (cumin, ginger and cinnamon)
• when the eggplants are done, cut a slit down the middle of the tiny guys. scoop out the insides of the eggplant with a spoon and mix it in with the meat.
• stuff the tiny eggplants with your meat mixture, top with diced tomatoes
• stick this back into the oven until the tomatoes are sort of melted.
• eat with rice. YUM.

I think this dish could be improved with some kind of sauce and green stuff, it's not particularly colorful or yummily liquidy. Maybe some kind of tahini-based sauce drizzled over the top? With some cilantro? I must try it again next time... Also, be warned, this dish is pretty labor-intense. You don't think peeling tiny eggplants would take a long time, but... whoa.

Apparently they are also served at the restaurant right next to the store. I'm pretty sure that what I made is nothing like what one would actually get, but I'm sure whatever that dish would actually be would be pretty damn good. Anyone interested on splitting an order?

phone shy part 2

I called both the law firm and the science museum this afternoon. This is not without the required bout of procrastinating, in which I slept in (I seem to be sleeping a ridiculous amount lately), mourned the loss of my home's TV (it left with a housemate), cleaned my room and patched up a pair of ripped jeans. Sometimes procrastination can be shockingly productive.

So, room sparkling and jeans without holes, I called the law firm and had to leave a message. Which means I'll have to have another phone conversation, early in the day, and this is still scary. I am also worried that I talked way way way too fast for the potential message-reciever to understand: "Hi-this-is-my-name-here-and-I-was-calling-to-see-if-you-recieved-my-application-here-is-my-phone-number-it-is-this-time.Thanks." Probably not the smoothest message I've ever left. I also called the science museum and there was some sort of peri-adolescent yahoo who told me with a cracking voice to call back in a few days. Maybe I should just head over to the museum myself (which would also be exciting, since I'd get to take a trip to the science museum!). This might be my project for tomorrow.

So. Phone call one done. Now for round of nerves two.

phone shy

have to say, I think the worst part of finding and applying for work is the "Hello, did you get my application?" phone call. I never know what to say, how to say it, or really figure out why I'm calling.

The phone is terrifying. Strangers who I can't see are scary. I will put off the phone call to the law firm until tomorrow morning. Then I will call the science museum. I will not wuss out any more.

Yipe.

a new tiny soul box

So. It's been awhile and I still don't have work (American Eagle has seemed to decided to blow me off, and I seem to have scraped my dignity off the floor and have stopped calling them begging for work), and I am still moping about it, and I am still freaking out. Not a lot has changed for me, as is wont for someone who has no job and has slid deep into the laziness of a warm summer, but lately I have been feeling a stirring.

Doing nothing all day has lost its glamour. I am sick of days of nothing. I no longer wish to watch Jerry Springer and imagine myself on a talk show. I dread discussing "what I do" to new people only to stutter and try to change the subject. I hate being broke. I hate asking my friends to keep an eye out for jobs for me. Asking one's parents for money is the worst thing in the world. I've decided to try tactic in getting work: Not wanting to work. Keeping busy. Having fun. Willfully. Once I don't want a job I will have a job. Right? Yeah? Yeah, right? I'm on vacation here. I'm not between anything.

Maybe. Well, it's been fun trying this tack regardless of the results. My past few days have been busy with beach trips, dog walking knitting, reading, cooking, and an oddly enjoyable bout of house-cleaning. I've come much closer to well-paying work than I have in quite awhile. As long as I keep shoving worry and doubt into a tiny box deep in my soul (right next to the one where I keep crying), things should be okay, yeah?

Eh, I'm not going to think about it and plot my next cooking project.