obligitory informative post so i can move on to writing about other things

YES

• I have a new job.
• I could tell you what I think I will be doing, but I actually have very little clue as to what I will actually be doing.
• I will post about it, once it has started and everything is 100% clear that I really do have said job. I do not wish to jinx myself over the internet again.
• It is better than my job at the fabric store.
• I am very glad to be leaving the fabric store. However, I am not glad to have days that start before 10am.

NO

• I have not started yet. I start next Monday.
• I would post a link to the job description, but it also has my pay scale and I don't want everyone knowing and asking me about that.
• It is not a secret job. If you ask me, I will tell you. I just don't want to jinx myself over the internet.
• I am not excited. I am terrified of actually having a real job and actually being a grownup with a business card and a desk.

Is everything clear now? Good. Now can you stop asking me about this in person? Talking about The New Job makes me feel weird and embarrassed (though I am a little bit excited) so I'd like to stop talking about it until I am actually working in The New Job. I'm glad to have it. I'm glad you're glad that I have it. Hooray. I feel very uncool talking about my dorky online journals at parties. Stop making me look like a dork. I will sink through the floor in embarrassment. I will secretly hate you if you insist on this behavior. I will begin to tell the story about that time you were drunk and lit yourself on fire/wet the bed/fell asleep in class/made out with someone horrible/had pinkeye that was hilarious-looking. Don't try to stop me!

Unless we're talking about the Earless Wonder Future Cat, of course. How does Pneu protect her little ear-holes from filling up with Portland rain?

earless wonder

This is Pneu. She is from the future, where cats have no ears and glow. Many thanks to Ariana, for sending me a picture of her lovely cat.

the things that stand out

So many exciting things happened to me yesterday that were pretty important, or at least interesting, I'm having a hard time processing it all. Only one thing sticks out in my brain for me to share at this very moment:

I saw a cat with no ears.

Just little kitty earholes. The cat is owned by a friend of mine from work, and it is very lovely and friendly and well-cared for, etc., etc. It also has no ears. Pneu (the kitty) is very aerodynamic, almost futuristic looking. I have never wished so much to have a picture of an animal. No ears!


(I also got a new job. More about that later. )

the literate breakroom

I used to think that there were three kinds of literature that live in the Mill End breakroom. Those with the word "country" in the title (ahem, Country Home, Country Living, and Country Cottage come immediately to mind), The National Enquirer, and miscelanious others that pre-date 1995. I used to think that the Mill End breakroom was where bad magazines went to die, but not without being read from cover to cover by sorry souls like me-- who, given the opportunity, really would like to learn how to make a dust ruffle from your cat's hairballs and definitely would want to see how the stars look without their makeup rather than converse with whichever Crazy Old Woman is also occupying their space.

I was wrong.

Today I discovered the breakroom's enormous stash of Harlequin Romances. I have never seen so much girl porn in my life. They all sit, dilapidated and clearly read many times, on the back table where the older women put their coats and thermoses. I laughed out loud when I finally noticed them. So that's what everyone's been reading instead of this god-awful ten year old National Geographic. The Bride and the Cowboy.

I'm not sure if I'm deeply pleased by this or if I've just lost my will to live.